The joy you are feeling during pregnancy can easily be dampened by unwelcome and unkind comments. If you are an expectant mom and told that you look huge or will never sleep again, we’ve got response suggestions that will surely stop future comments!
1) “You’re too young/too old to be having a baby!”
The average age of conceiving a first child in the United States is 25.8, according to CDC statistics from 2013; however, many states have either higher or lower age averages than the national average. If you happen to be expecting and live in an area where the average age is higher, you’ll get comments that range from, “You’re a baby having a baby,” or “You’re missing out on life by having a baby so young.” Those thoughtless comments imply that because you are a certain age, you don’t know how to make sound, adult decisions regarding when to start a family.
On the flip side, if you are above the average age of conception in your area, you’ll also be bombarded with criticism, such as, “Isn’t it dangerous at your age to have a baby?” or “Will you have enough energy to keep up with a baby at your age?” Being a good mother has nothing to do with your age, and concerns over you having a safe, successful pregnancy are between you, your partner, and your health care provider.
Neither question warrants a response!
2) “Was the baby planned?”
In no way should you feel obligated to dignify that invasive question with a response, but if you choose to answer you could say, “My partner and I are so blessed to be welcoming a baby into our family.” It is no ones business whether or not your baby was planned, and you shouldn’t feel it necessary to justify your pregnancy to anyone.
3) “Sleep now, ‘cause you’ll never get a good night’s sleep again!”
Typically this comment comes from parents who’ve “been there and done that,” but it’s insensitive to mention this to a mom-to-be, especially a first time mom-to-be. Surely you are aware that newborns aren’t the best sleepers, but every baby is different and you’ll learn to find a sleep solution that works for you and your child, as you go along. There are wonderful resources to aid you in overcoming sleep issues, if you are to ever need them, but the amount of sleep that you will or will not get in two, four or even six months should not be of concern to you at this present time. Additionally, sleeping can be difficult during pregnancy, so it shows a lack of compassion to make that comment when you might be currently struggling to catch some Zzzzs. Respond by stating, “I’m trying to enjoy every aspect of my pregnancy before my beautiful baby arrives, instead of worrying about future what-ifs.”
4) “Is it twins?”
This seemingly innocent, but actually hurtful question implies that because your baby bump is so large you must be carrying more than one child. Comparing your size to another expectant mom’s size is foolish because each woman’s body type is different, but furthermore each woman’s pregnancy is different. People don’t stop to think about possible medical conditions, pregnancy complications, or even personal battles the mom-to-be may be suffering from before making such a weighted (no pun intended) comment. If you’re only carrying one child, a great response would be, “I’m blissfully pregnant with a healthy baby.”
5) “How will you deliver?”
There are numerous birthing options -- drug-free birth, a water birth, a home birth, a medicated birth or even a C-section birth -- but that decision is for you to make, after consulting with your health care provider to determine the safest and most practical option. Ultimately, there is no wrong way to deliver your child, but many expectant moms feel judged based on their decision. If you are questioned about your child’s upcoming birth, simply say, “The delivery method I will choose is the one that will ensure my baby is healthy.”
